Monday, June 2, 2014

Keeping my chin up

So this week has been good. We have had many miracles this week. Things are still very hard. I am just trying to keep my chin up and press forward. I wish that things would just get better sooner, but I know that the Lord is on my side and He has a purpose in all of this. It is so very frustrating to want to do so much, but to only be able to do so little. I know that things will get better in the future, I need to learn something from this and I haven't figured it all out yet. I know that I am being made stronger through it all. I just have to take things one day at a time, (and you know how hard that is for me, I want to take everything all at once).
This week has definitely been the refiners fire for both of us and our investigators. Our investigators who were unmarried have decided to separate, and it didn't go so well. They still are wanting to meet with us, but things between them have become complicated. It was an unexpected, double edged, answer to prayers. We have been trying to know what we could do to help them progress in the gospel. One of the largest obstacles that was preventing them from moving forward was getting married, because of this new change they have many more opportunities in the gospel. It is a very hard situation though, they are both still wanting to come to this ward and they don't want a blow-up to happen at church. We are praying that this will bring them closer to God instead of further away.
We have also had one of our investigators surprise us by coming to church yesterday! She is in the navy and her ship has been coming and going for exercise practices, so she has been out of town a lot. She came and loved the testimonies that were born. We had a lot of little children get up and bear their sweet, simple testimonies. It really touched her heart, and she wants to come back! We have really been struggling to have people come to church, so it was really nice to have an investigator there.
Hurricane season started yesterday. We are expect 13 named storms roll through in the coming months. Needless to say we have emergency preparation all taken care of. We have been blessed with a few rainstorms that have rolled through in the past few days. Normal storms here are the really bad ones back in Utah. At about lunch time everyday there is a thunderstorm that usually shakes the buildings and pours for a few minutes. Within an hour all signs of the storm are gone. This week is tax free week for emergency preparedness, so I will be stocking up on bottled water.
This week we also had a wonderful district meeting. We were asked to think about one act of disobedience that we could sacrifice. I choose to sacrifice my fear of opening my mouth to everyone.  It felt so good. I felt a sense of relief come over me. I gave my fear to God and He is in control now. I am so grateful for an inspired district leader. He prepared trainings that were meant for me. It was one of the most spiritual meetings that I have been in. I needed to know that everything was going to be alright. This brings to mind a talk that Jeffrey R. Holland gave a while ago called "missionary work and the atonement." Inside of it he says:
"Anyone who does any kind of missionary work will have occasion to ask, Why is this so hard? Why doesn’t it go better? Why can’t our success be more rapid? Why aren’t there more people joining the Church? It is the truth. We believe in angels. We trust in miracles. Why don’t people just flock to the font? Why isn’t the only risk in missionary work that of pneumonia from being soaking wet all day and all night in the baptismal font?
You will have occasion to ask those questions. I have thought about this a great deal. I offer this as my personal feeling. I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. Missionaries and mission leaders have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary.
Now, please don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacrilegious. But I believe that missionaries and investigators, to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price.
For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul.
If He could come forward in the night, kneel down, fall on His face, bleed from every pore, and cry, “Abba, Father (Papa), if this cup can pass, let it pass,”  then little wonder that salvation is not a whimsical or easy thing for us. If you wonder if there isn’t an easier way, you should remember you are not the first one to ask that. Someone a lot greater and a lot grander asked a long time ago if there wasn’t an easier way.
The Atonement will carry the missionaries perhaps even more importantly than it will carry the investigators. When you struggle, when you are rejected, when you are spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, you are standing with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure and perfect life ever lived. You have reason to stand tall and be grateful that the Living Son of the Living God knows all about your sorrows and afflictions. The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary. The only way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
I have to go through some hardship so that I can truly know how precious salvation is. Salvation is not easy, but it is attainable. I am trying my very best to trust in my Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that they will bring me through. 
I can't believe that school is out. It feels like it was yesterday that it started. I can't believe how fast time flies. And yes it is so stinking hot and muggy here, I feel like I am in a sauna.
This week has been another hard one, it had its good days and its hard days. I wish that life could be one constant, but I guess it wouldn't be very fun if we had everything stay the same. We has a few miracles. I don't know why, but Heavenly Father has seen to bless us with three weeks of amazing numbers in a row. I have never seen higher numbers in my life. We are having 10+ other lessons in a week (my previous average was 5) and at least 2 member presents (which we usually get none of). We have also been having new investigators come out of nowhere. I think that the Lord is trying to help me see that even though we are going through a tough time, we are still being blessed and watched over.
I had one amazing miracle happen this week. I got a facebook message from Hailey's and Abbey's father Jeff. He wrote to me and said that he had seen a change in his family and that he had been talking to Tracy and that he wanted to take a leap of faith. He noticed that the change had come when they joined the church. He asked if he could meet with missionaries! It was amazing, I about flipped out of my chair when I read that message. He hasn't had any religion in his life for over 20 years, but he really wants to find God and happiness. I sent a referral for the Elders in his area, and Sister Houtz and I will teach him on facebook with Tracy's help. I am so excited! Maybe one day Tracy and him will decide to get married and they can be a forever family!
Today we are going to play volleyball with our district, and then heading to get a haircut (actually more of a trim) and a new satchel from target. It should be a good day. We haven't done anything fun for a few weeks because of miles and so we can't go far. It will be nice to get out and about, I have found that I need to do something "fun" on P-days to help me stay focused on the rest of the week.
Anyway, I love you all so very much! Thanks for all of the encouraging words. I love you!
Lots of love,
Sister Williams

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